Saturday, October 3, 2009

Canada’s Our Bitch

It’s been a while since I’ve felt motivated to write something for my blog, but a recent development in the drug war has gotten my creative juices flowing again. What I’m talking about is the situation with Marc Emery. In case you haven’t heard, Mr. Emery ran a successful mail-order cannabis seed operation for many years in Canada. He paid his taxes, and the Canadian government was (mostly) happy. That is, until they were approached by the good ol’ U.S. of A., who considered Mr. Emery a major drug kingpin and a threat to the American way of life (i.e., prohibition). So when the DEA asked for Mr. Emery’s head on a platter (figuratively speaking), surprisingly, the Canadian government was more than happy to oblige. After a lengthy legal battle, Mr. Emery surrendered himself last week to be extradited to the U.S. Once here, he will spend years in an American prison for what is a minor offense in Canada. That is, if the Canadian government had ever bothered to prosecute him. Which they didn’t. (Now that I think about it, this would make a great episode for that TV show, Locked Up Abroad).

Let’s face it, Canada may have at times seemed like a independent-minded country, but deep down they’ve always wanted to be just like us. And with their now-conservative government, there’s no longer any need to pretend. It’s kind of nice actually, having things out in the open like this. I mean where else are we going to find a country where when we say, “jump,” they ask, “how high?” It’s especially refreshing at a time when we just can’t seem to get any respect around the world. Maybe Canada’s new motto should be, “What’s OK in the U.S. is fine with us.”

It’s sort of like when you were a kid and you had a little brother. You know, the one that’s always tagging along, wanting to play with the big kids. Sure they’re annoying at times, but having someone that’s willing to do just about anything to get into your good graces can be kind of fun. You want them to go fetch something, they hop to it. You need somebody to do your chores, they’re more than happy to. Of course, no matter what they do, they’re still that annoying little brother, and you can never really take them seriously. But you pretend to, and everybody is happy. If that little brother were a country, he would be Canada.

The main reason we can’t ever take them seriously is because they do things that we would never, ever do ourselves. (Or at least admit to doing.) For example, what do you think would happen if the situation were reversed? Let’s say that someone in the U.S. was selling liquor over the internet to people in Iran, where alcohol is illegal. What do you think would happen if the Iranians wanted to come over here and arrest those liquor peddlers with an armed paramilitary force, and then haul them off to an Iranian prison? Not a chance in hell we would allow that. I have no doubt that the U.S. government would stand up for the rights of its citizens and tell the Iranians to take a hike. But the Canadians have no problem with handing one of their own law-abiding citizens over to a foreign country to sit for years in a foreign prison. That’s what makes them fun to have around, but we can never accept them as equals.

And I almost forgot the best part, the aspect of this situation that shows how big and important we really are. At least compared to Canada. You see, Mr. Emery was not arrested for anything he’s done. There are hundreds of cannabis seed vendors in Canada and around the world that are still in operation and still selling their product to Americans. Turns out Mr. Emery was singled out and arrested for what he said. And for how he spent his profits. The DEA even admitted it. Publicly. When speaking to the press after Mr. Emery’s arrest, did the DEA mention the impact of their bust on the flow of illegal drugs into our country? Did they mention the impact on drug production in our country? Did they mention the impact on drug use in our country? No, no, and no. Their only comment was on the impact the arrest had on the marijuana legalization movement, now that one of its major spokesmen and funders was out of the picture. I guess it just goes to show that freedom of speech applies only to American citizens, at least as far as we’re concerned. After all, we can’t allow foreigners to go around criticizing our government and its policies, now can we? And who else but Canada is going to let us lock up their citizens for criticizing us? It’s nice not to have to invade a country to make them see things our way.

So now that we’ve made Canada our bitch, I wonder how else we can make them bend over and take what we’re pushing. More importantly, how can we insure that after we have our way with them, they stand up and politely say, “Thank you, sir. May I have another?” You know, they’ve got that universal health care system that we hate so much (damn socialists!). Maybe we ought to start arresting Canadians who speak out on the benefits of their health care system. I’m sure we could find an excuse. And that’s only the start. Before you know it, Canada will be just like our 51st state. Without any of the benefits, of course.

9 comments:

Ken Driessen said...

Emery sold millions in seeds and he is getting 5 years for helping peoples lives who get relief from a natural herb. I had .36ths of a gram. I'm facing a felony, 3 1/2 years and a $10k fine. Some in the US made money backing up Hitler, like Prescott Bush, and those kind of people are still in control of Obama. NWO is here, our nation is run by the greediest war monger sadistic pigs on the planet. The drug war is a war against people. There are good people in Canada as well as the US but we have no power. The same criminals that run the US run Canada and it is getting worse.

Anonymous said...

yes canada usa and england control the hole thing ...usa is the bully of the world 190 contrys they have bases on for over 50 years and they are not going any were what next iran venezuela ...foloow the money war is money money is power we need to do something before its to late wake up shepople

Reality: said...

Awesome job! Could not have said it better, and I'm Canadian! I remember when US drug Czar John Walters came to Canada (uninvited) and was heckled by Marc Emery and other ativists/civil rights leaders at a dinner where Mr. Walters was spuing lies upon lies. Police officers sitting at tables surrounding Emery swore revenge on him, and took Walters on a tour of Canada's famous Pot Block in Vancouver (no doubt to stakeout).
However, the majority of Canadians (the 78% who DID NOT vote for current government) support Emery and are appalled by DEA's political involvment and disgusted by the Canadian government's complete indifference and inaction. Canada is your bitch! (or at least her government is)

Anonymous said...

As a Canadian, I find this offensive. Not because of the author, but because it's 100% true.

Thomas D said...

With respect, we're not your bitch, never have been, and never will be. The national NDP caucus and the Bloc caucus were unanimously opposed to extraditing Emery. And a majority of Liberals caucus members were also opposed. The conservatives were afraid to bring this up as a matter of confidence becase, as we exist in a parlimentary democracy (and with a MINORITY Conservative government) the government could fall on a confidence motion in parliament. If you really think the government is going to risk 200 million (which is about what a federal election costs in Canada) on Marc Emery, you're wrong. So the Conservatives (who have less than 50% of the popular vote) handed him over without a fight. Neither the NDP, Liberals or Bloc wanted to face their constituents over a 3rd election in such a short time period.

Please choose your words more carefully next time?

Tom

grenade6x9@aim.com said...

Oh my goodness, this was great. I loved the point you made about arresting him for what he said. It should be worded that way more often. As for the US, we need to go back to the roots of our pot-smoking founding fathers. Canada, stop kissing the ass of the US... It's dirty.

Tony Aroma said...

@ Tom,

I was using sarcasm, in this case a popular colloquialism, to make a point.

Tony

William said...

It doesn't matter how many Canadians say we should speak better of them because they have a minority government that doesn't reflect their views, and even go so far as to say cash comes before priniples like free speech (200 million). The bottom line is that when we want another Canadian, they will hand them over. We know how much the right of free speech is worth in Canada now. What's the going rate on their other rights? How much are individual Canadians willing to lose to the USA before they stand up to their government and say they have had enough? Why don't we just start drilling for oil off their coast? Afterall, they don't seem to need the oil as much as we do, and they certainly won't mind....

Anonymous said...

Jesus died on the cross for our sins, and his own government (the Jews) sold Him down the river to the Romans. If you substitute Jews for Canadians, and the USA for Romans - well, you see where I'm going. OK, OK, Marc Emery is NO Jesus, Marc doesn't even come close. BUT my point is, Canadians (including myself) are too f*cking nice. If I wasn't trying really really hard to be a good Christian, and have some chance of getting into Heaven, I would put a bullet into the head of "the right honorable Rob Nicholson"s head. Rob is the politician who signed Marc's extradition order (probably while masterbating over a pentagram). Turning the other cheek is f*cking hard.

Another Pissed Off Canadian